Clownfish Blues by Tim Dorsey

Author:Tim Dorsey
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-01-23T16:00:00+00:00

Back at the Office

The fluorescent newsroom hummed the hum of a major breaking story. Phones rang, keyboards clattered, people rushed past each other with documents. Reason: City work crews had just discovered sixty-five bodies buried along Interstate 95. The grisly remains turned out to be a forgotten cemetery, but TV is a visual medium, and bulldozers and bones are always welcome.

More reporters ran across the newsroom. At the end of the open floor plan sat a row of glassed-in executive offices. Through the window of one such office, the staff could see silent gestures and emotional body language. An important person sat behind the desk, and someone less so sat in front.

Reevis rubbed both hands down his face in frustration.

“Are you all right?” asked his assignment editor.

“I can’t work with these guys anymore,” said Reevis. “They stand for everything I’m against.”

“I know this has been a rough transition—”

“Rough? Did you see my ridiculous noon segment at the graveyard by the highway?” asked Reevis. “After I refused to drive a bulldozer, Nigel actually dug up a skull and tossed it to me while I was live on the air.”

The editor winced. “That part could have been handled with more sensitivity.”

“Not to mention what happened yesterday,” said Reevis. “I had a key person ready to be interviewed, and they wrecked it again.”

“That also was unfortunate,” the editor said evenly. “And I passed your objections up through proper channels.”

“Obviously it didn’t help,” said Reevis. “They put it on the air last night anyway. The chaos with the motel owner, and then two camera crews chasing each other around the parking lot. Not to mention the day before, when they charged into our meeting and jammed a lens in my face, making me look like a clown.”

The editor took a slow, diplomatic breath. “We discussed that at the marketing breakfast this morning. It seems we received very favorable feedback on that last segment.”

“What segment?” asked Reevis. “They just manufactured a meaningless confrontation by rudely barging into your office for no reason.”

“Exactly,” said Shug. “The focus group loved the idea of us ruthlessly investigating ourselves. Our confidence and trust ratings went through the roof.”

“But we weren’t investigating ourselves.”

“And our parent company insists we continue.”

“Continue doing something we’re not doing?”

“They said it boosts the audience’s faith.”

“Let me see if I have this straight,” said Reevis. “We fake stuff to show we have principles?”

“And integrity.”

Reevis rolled his eyes. “Anything else?”

“Corporate wants us to follow up by allowing Nigel and Günter to film us as we clean house.”

“What for?”

“Weed out all the journalistic corruption that’s led to an epidemic of fabricated stories.”

“Who’s fabricating stories?”

“Just Nigel and Günter,” said the editor. “There are going to be a number of firings. It could get ugly.”

The pair were interrupted by screaming outside in the general newsroom. A woman wept hysterically at her desk as a film crew bore down on her with their camera. Then she fled for the exit, and Günter ran jiggling after her.

Reevis turned back around. “And you’re okay with this?”

“I’ve got kids in college.

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